When Grief Follows Growth

There’s a stage in the healing journey where things get subtler, gentler—yet still powerful.

You’re not actively digging through shadow anymore.
You’re just living. Creating.

And suddenly—something opens.

That’s what happened to me this weekend.

I’ve been deep in edits for The Temple of I, Book 3 of the Hieros Codex I’m writing. These books are designed to be energetic activations. Every time I return to them, I’m pulled through another layer of my own healing, integration, and expansion.

I rarely realize it's happening in the moment anymore, but the shifts are still very real, and embodied.

By the weekend, I was deep in a grief I couldn’t name. It didn’t come from a single event. It just was—an aching, quiet sadness without story. But I’ve been on this path long enough to recognize what that means:

Something old had released.
And my body was catching up.

Here’s an example of something I’ve noticed—both in my own life and in clients I’ve worked with:

When people lose weight rapidly, especially through crash diets, they often don’t understand why old trauma or emotional intensity suddenly re-emerges as their weight melts off. But fat cells don’t just store energy—they store emotion. They were formed as a kind of protection. And when those cells dissolve, what’s been trapped inside is released back into the mind-body-spirit complex.

Spiritual expansion works the same way.

When a frequency clears—especially a dense, protective one—you might feel a wave of old emotions rise. Not because you’re failing. But because you’re actively finishing a cycle.
Not regressing. Integrating.

This weekend, my grief eventually gave way to feistiness. Anger. And instead of analyzing it, I let it move. One of my partners witnessed me without trying to fix anything. He held me (and fkd me) through it.

I call this Pleasure Integration.

By the next day I felt like a new version of myself. Literally.

I wouldn’t have called this lover a healer before this.

But the truth is, he became one.

Or more than likely he always was. It was just happening beyond my awareness.

And, as always, the universe reminded me:
How much can I allow?

⸻

Here’s what I want you to know:

The journey gets gentler.
It gets simpler.
And it doesn’t always come with fireworks.

Sometimes, expansion looks like sadness with no name.
Sometimes, it’s grief for a version of you that no longer fits.
Sometimes, it’s just your body and spirit catching up with how free you’ve become.

You don’t have to fix it.
You just have to trust it.

So the next time something rises seemingly “out of nowhere,” ask:

What if this is release, not regression?
What if the emotion is the exhale of something that’s already healed?
What if this is what it feels like to become more yourself?
What if you’re not breaking down, you’re breaking through?

In sovereignty,
Sharon

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