The Power of Wanting Without Needing
I have a crush on someone.
The kind of soft, innocent crush that surprises you, not because it’s dramatic or overwhelming, but because it feels like warm light gathering in the chest.
I even approached them about having a cuddle date.
They gently declined.
What’s interesting is not the “no.”
What’s interesting is what didn’t happen inside me.
I didn’t collapse.
I didn’t spiral.
I didn’t reach for worthiness narratives or tell myself stories about “what this means.”
I’ve done enough inner alchemy that I no longer take a “hit” when someone says no.
There’s no bruise because I’m not taking anything personally.
The meaning doesn’t come from them.
I am the one who decides what the moment means.
What surprised me most was how much I’m enjoying the feeling of having a crush — even when it’s unrequited.
The physical sensations.
The emotional warmth.
The mental spark.
The energetic hum.
The spiritual openness.
It’s all a mosaic of sweetness.
Fullness.
Soft awakeness.
The innocence of wanting without fear.
Their no didn’t diminish any of it.
If anything, it clarified it — like pleasure held up to a prism.
This is what I mean when I guide people to take a “mind–body–spirit snapshot” of a moment of aliveness or triumph or genuine connection.
Not so you can cling to the moment — but so you can re-access the energy of it any time you choose, and redirect that current into anything you want to create:
your work,
your relationships,
your art,
your embodiment,
your spiritual practice.
It’s a form of mastery.
Of devotion.
Of pleasure alchemy.
We live in a culture that tells us unrequited love should feel humiliating.
That rejection should create self-doubt.
That desire should collapse without reciprocity.
That feelings without an outcome are “a waste.”
But this moment revealed a deeper truth: The pleasure isn’t in the outcome — it’s in the aliveness.
And in a world where people demonize longing, mock crushes, and turn desire into a transaction, it actually is taboo to let yourself enjoy the sweetness without needing anything in return.
It’s taboo to hold a crush as sacred.
It’s taboo to stay open after a no.
It’s taboo to feel grateful for the experience instead of wounded by it.
It’s taboo to let your heart love without agenda.
And yet…
this is what sovereign love feels like.
This is what innocence feels like when it’s reclaimed.
This is what pleasure feels like when it’s liberated from attachment.
I can feel the cosmic wink in how this all unfolded.
A soft crush.
A gentle no.
A burst of aliveness that didn’t collapse.
It’s as if the universe said: “Here’s a lesson in pure, unadorned desire. No outcome. No story. No expectation. Just… feel.”
And I did.
And it’s delicious.
And it’s mine.
This is the same medicine I write about in Forbidden Alchemy: Transmuting Taboo into Erotic Medicine.
That alchemy isn’t only about kink or BDSM.
It’s also about forbidden styles of loving:
loving without needing to be chosen
wanting without shame
letting desire move without demanding reciprocity
feeling deeply without collapsing
savoring innocent pleasure without turning it into a quest for validation
These moments — the ones society says we should hide, judge, or “get over” — are actually portals.
They teach us self-love.
They teach us sovereignty.
They teach us how to live turned-on in a way that is grounded, devotional, and free.
I’m grateful this sweet crush came into my life, even briefly.
For the feelings it stirred.
I’m grateful that my heart can open without clinging or needing anything in return.
And I’m grateful I get to share this moment with you — because pleasure like this, innocent and outcome-free, is one of the purest pathways home.
In sovereign pleasure,
-Sharon Marie Scott
✨ P. S. Forbidden Alchemy is now available everywhere books are sold.
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