Sacred Union (with Other) Is Not Containment

There’s a story I see repeated in many spiritual spaces:

That sacred union means exclusivity.
That a true partnership only feels safe when no other energies are allowed in.
That once someone “claims” you, safety is guaranteed—so long as you stay contained.

But that has never been my lived experience.

I’ve been in spaces where I felt entirely loved, desired, and seen—while also fully free.
Where others were present.
Where play, intimacy, and erotic expression were shared.
And I still felt completely safe and loved.

The safety didn’t come from being isolated.
It came from intention, from mutual devotion.
From coherence, not control.

Sacred union isn’t defined by who else is in the room.
It’s defined by what’s being held.
The clarity of presence.
The groundedness of the field.
The shared agreement: I meet you in your fullness, not your fear.

This is the evolution of eros.
This is what happens when safety stops being the destination—and starts being the byproduct of living in your truth.

Over time, in my own journey of reclaiming sovereignty, my relationship to pleasure shifted.
It became less about seeking safety and more about honoring my full expression, and I realized:
I didn’t want to be protected from the world—I wanted to be met in my wholeness within it.

Here’s another piece of my truth that’s rarely acknowledged in these conversations:

In many dynamics, it’s the person embodying more feminine or receptive energy who’s expected to seek monogamy as a form of safety.
But that has never been me.

I have been the one asking for expansion.
The one craving more expression, more eros, more ways of experiencing love.

And in those moments, the deepest safety came from someone anchoring so deeply in themselves that they could hold me in mine.

The sacred masculine, as I’ve experienced it, isn’t the energy that restricts my pleasure.
It’s the energy that amplifies it—by meeting it without fear.
By staying grounded while I rise.

For me, monogamy would actually be a form of contraction.
Not because it’s wrong, but because it wouldn’t allow the full spectrum of my divine expression to move through.

So the real question is no longer:
“Can someone else make me feel safe?”

It’s:
“Can the space between us be so coherent, so rooted, that I can let even more of myself come alive?”

That is sacred union to me.
That is the edge I live on.
And that is the love I call in.

Not control.
Not containment.
But love that expands in all directions.

In sovereign union,
Sharon

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